The GLBT group didn'tmeet any needs but if Parole would let me out one evening a month toattend I would go. Now I parked the car and checked my answeringmachine. I checked in with Parole and prepared for bed. Tomorrow was thelast Friday of the month and that meant a busy day at Tri-County. I'dwear the suit again but change the blouse for a very muted pink sweater.I would look good.Chapter 2: The Little Black DressTri-County ran on an odd calendar. December through February were thebusiest of the months and April, May and June rather laid back. Thatmeant when March came around we all gave a collected sigh of relief.Mark started talking about baseball again. Emma gossiped about her girlfriends and Pam, whenever she came out of her shy cocoon, talked aboutsailing with her husband and the newest fashions. Our director, JaneErlich, stopped shaking with tension and started sitting down in theback for cups of coffee and the front office staff and volunteers wereoccasionally seen gossiping. David laythere adjusting to the reality of the day, of the sunshinefiltering into his room, lying in mote-filled beams across his bed,the dream fading, but still remembered for a few fleeting moments.They, the dreams, were now an accepted, inescapable part of hisexistence. As always on their fading he was filled with a dreadfulfear that nagged away at him. The fear that he was indeed losingcontrol over his inner masculinity. That it was seeping away,insidiously being replaced by the acceptance of a softer feminineself. Even the fear seemed dulled now though. Perhaps because onecan't replicate fear day after day, it wears away watered down byfamiliarity, eroded by waiting.And perhaps it was less this Sunday morning because perhaps it neednot be. Before there had been no refuge from it. No place to hide.But now? But now there was a little corner of hope to which hecould retreat. From there he could look out at his fear, examine itfrom all angles, turn it over in his mind. See it for.
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